Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Sweet,protective,life-filled,joyous,comforting,crazy,darling,good dog. We will miss you so much. Given to Cassie by Mom ten years ago on Christmas. I thank God for His amazing creation and sweet four legged family members.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

"We are your hands, We are your feet.."

Sudan is a place right now of utter unrest. Violence, disease, hunger and starvation, poverty,the inability to handle natural disasters, and war have taken thousands upon thousands of lives this year.
Children, babies, ladies, and Grandparents are being murdered in front of their own families in the name of evil.
"Actions Speak Louder" is a powerful song that you can download and the proceeds will go to Reach Records Sudan relief fund. The team at Reach Records are doing amazing work in Sudan. They are bringing, food,water,rest,comfort and best of all Jesus to these dear one's lives. Join me in praying for them along with downloading "Actions Speak Louder"
Support the Darfur orphans by shopping for green at cafepress.com
Jude 22 "...some have compassion making a difference"

Monday, December 13, 2010

"it is well"

This photo was taken outside my Mom's window December 12th the day before she left us here on earth. I remember thinking these words " It is well" from her favorite hymn when I looked at the beauty before us. Truly, despite all the pain we were facing, we had comfort from God That "all was well".

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control.
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Dear Mom,

I looked down the pew today in church where you used to sit. Seventh pew down, on the left, all the way to the end. I saw you there, your
blue eyes winked and twinkled at me as you caught my eye. You were singing at the top of your lungs. I love your voice. You had a little smirk on your face, as that look told me a thousand words. Always, those inside thoughts that only you and I understand, no words, just looks, what a gift. I miss that interaction the most now.
You were wearing your long brown skirt, with the brown boots Cassie got you, (I wear them a lot now). You also were wearing that silly, colorful bangle, remember the one we bought you at the dollar store in New Hampshire? I was probably ten when we got it for you, I still remember trying to wrap it up for Christmas with the other kids, we didn't put it in a box, so it was really hard to keep the paper from ripping :).
Your bible, stuffed with cards and old bulletins sat on the pew beside you. I look your way again, wishing I wasn't at the other end of the pew. If I was sitting beside you I know you would have played with my hair throughout the service or rubbed my shoulders. We probably would have passed a few notes.
Remember how us kids would all argue the whole way to church about who got to sit next to you through the service? You would organize it so well, one would get the song service, one the sermon, then Sunday night and prayer meeting on Wednesday. As the oldest I didn't get much time sitting next to you. I hated it when I would have to forfeit my spot to one of the younger kids, because they were acting up. (I think Jacob would be bad on purpose so he could sit next to you and steal my spot) just sayin.
You would always look my way after everybody was situated again and give me that " thanks Jessa" look. It was worth it.

Remember when Cassie spilled her cheerios everywhere as the ushers were passing the offering at "Baker River"? I still remember you trying to pick all the cheerios out of the offering plate as they watched horrified;)
Thank you for taking us all to church. Thank you for being an example of faithfulness. Thank you for introducing me to Jesus. Thank you for your faith and trust in Him even as you lay, on this day last year,December 13th, saying your goodbyes to us.
Well done my faithful Mother. Thank you.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


Tonight I went for a very cold, but needed run.
Running has been an amazing way for me, this past year, to mentally keep myself in check. I'm so thankful for this outlet. Tonight despite it being -6 I ran...
I'm so blessed to have a kindred friend that is as crazy as me and was good enough to join me. She made me laugh so hard. Thank you friend.
Oh yes, it was brisk. But the moon and stars were amazing and I feel better prepared to face a tough day tomorrow.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Christmas Decorations...

Christmas 2008
Thanks to a conversation with my Aunt I have decided to forge ahead and decorate for Christmas.
The pain that comes with almost every ornament I pull out will be worth the warm feelings I have as I look around at my decorated home.
My Mother made sure all of us girls had Christmas decorations for our homes once we were married. I remember her taking me to the stores in Washington on one of her visits and having me pick out the decorations I liked. She loved dreaming with me and setting up the "Christmas look" our house would have. As young as I can remember decorating for Christmas was important to my Mom. In New Hampshire she would decorate our 1700's colonial home with beautiful white candles in every window, then we would all bundle up and walk down our road just so we could walk back marveling at our Christmas wonderland looking house.
When we moved to Alaska there was so much joy surrounding us as we would take out each ornament and remember...Three years ago, all of us kids along with our spouses were coming home for Christmas. Mom and her friend Rosa spent days decorating the Lodge in preparation for our home-coming. I still remember how beautiful it looked, the effort she put into all of it was breathtaking and something I will never forget.

Even last year, though only days before she passed away, she begged us to put up her decorations. We hung our stockings by her bed.My sisters and I painfully decorated the second floor the way we remember she used to. When we were done, my brother carried her down the stairs to see our handy work. She had soft tears in her eyes as she looked all around excitedly, she was so proud of us, I remember being so thankful we pushed ourselves through it.
In the foyer a large Christmas tree was always set up. Halfway through decorating it is when my Mom took her last turn and I stepped away from it half finished. Throughout the next few days every time I went down the stairs that tree stared at me, ugly, undone, a reminder of what was happening. Before our family arrived my Mother's dear(same decorating friend) came over and finished the tree. The comfort that, that gave me was so precious.
So, although even now I want to change my mind, I am determined to dress my home this year, with the ornaments my sweet Mom gave me. I'll post pictures soon.:) Thanks for listening.